Shedding

Happy New Year! I love sharing resources that helped me, if you are looking for a good book to start off the new year one of my favorites is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

In the book Ruiz says that “the only way to store information is by agreement.” As children we believe everything adults say and it creates our belief system…”We didn’t choose these beliefs, and we may have rebelled against them, but we were not strong enough to win the rebellion.”

As children we are told we’re a good boy or a good girl by our parents, teachers, and other elders in the community. Soon we crave the validation of being “good” and so we seek to please others, to do what others want us to do in order to get that high of being validated. We develop a fear of not getting that validation from others and so we end up pretending or agreeing with things we don’t really believe in order to get others to love us. Also known as external validation.

“These beliefs are so strong that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives. Whatever goes against the book of law will make you feel a funny sensation in your solar plexus (your gut) and it’s called FEAR…anything that challenges what you believe is going to make you feel unsafe. Even if the book of law is WRONG, it makes you feel safe. This is why we need a great deal of courage to challenge our own beliefs.”

These beliefs are so strong and so enmeshed in our lives that they can become subconscious. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are operating out of old outdated belief systems. Have you ever felt conflicted about something? That something didn’t feel right but you were torn in the middle of which way to go? You are feeling so much conflicting contrast because we know we believe something else to be true but what we believed as children has such a strong grip that it takes a lot of work and courage to unlearn all of those beliefs. This journey of unlearning these beliefs is like shedding.

When I first started this journey I didn’t understand it was a lifelong process. I thought if I made a big change everything would magically fall into place. I thought it was kind of like a switch, maybe I thought of it as more black and white but really there are so many shades of gray. So many layers to go through that healing is more like shedding than flipping a switch. It’s not one change. You break the pattern by responding differently. Each day something new may come up and bit by bit if you have the courage and you are aware you will have the power to make a different choice, even if it’s uncomfortable.

I look back and the person I was 5 years ago is completely unrecognizable. And then I sift through the years and realize each year how much I shed and evolved. Sometimes it's the little shifts but they add up and you look back and even in one year so much can change.

My hope is that someday, somehow when you are ready that you find yourself on this path too. It is not an easy road at all, but doing the work is so worth it. The only way out is through. The only way to find the light again is to go through the darkness. You have to feel, you have to release to let go and make room for the new. There isn’t room for your old life and old way of being to sit with the new you. You have to release it and step into a whole new way of being. Don’t swallow that pain, don’t stuff it down anymore. Let it bubble up, let it hurt, feel it, honor it and then let it go so you can make room for the new.

And if you need help and support along your journey please find it! Whatever that may look like for you. Don’t stop searching until you find what you need and what resonates with you. Because you deserve to live in your truth. Each and every single one of us are worthy exactly as we are.

May this new year bring you the courage to shed what no longer serves you.

Namaste ❤️🙏🏻

If you are curious to see if coaching with me could support you on your journey contact me for a free discovery call.